She Sees Me

God for sakes, is she using perfume?
Uuugggh! This whole place will
smell like a department store any
minute. I've got to get out there and
scare her before it's too late. Why is
she not moving? I'm here, I know
you can see me, run, shriek, do what
young girls always do, run away.
My God, I think she's looking at me.
This just can't be. She begins to
speak! Little one? Little one my ass!
I'm a scummy cockroach, are you
nuts? No, I will not come there.
To be touched by the perfumed
hands of Ms. Holiness. No way.
That does it--she's insane! I'll have
to get a message to Frank somehow.
No, you will not--she's coming
towards me with outstretched hand!
I'm gone. No, no, ouch, no, stop it!
Damn, that was close. It had to be
just a put-on. Second she got me,
she would have squashed me.
I know it. People are all the same.
Now I'm living with two imbeciles
and a nut-job. Perfect. Three smelly
people to dodge every single day.
Although, I must admit, coming
to get a good whiff of it now, that
perfume isn't half bad. Got to
see the good in everyone, right?
Since we're going to be bunking
down together, might as well give
her another shot.

(2007)