The Whale

Mother, can you see me?
Your son has run amok.
I've run aground in a place
I don't belong. I only
came this way to find food
for my wife and kids.
Up to these, my final hours,
I had imagined the world
was one big ocean,
I had counted on endless
shoals of cod, I had dreamed
I was invincible. As soon
as they see me stop breathing
these piranas will devour
me. I used to eat fish
like those for breakfast.
Now I'll only serve to
fuel them through winter.
Mother, know that I did
try my hardest. Maybe I
could have done better.
Maybe I shouldn't have
decided to try the river.
Maybe I should have been
more humble. But times are
pretty desperate. One can't
but opt for desperate
measures. I know my kids,
should they survive
a few more years, will
always keep me in mind,
just as I have always kept
you in mind, mother. I
lived my life exactly how
I wanted, as you taught me.
Maybe, when they hear about
me in the news, some folks
will understand more clearly
how terrible this globe has
become. I will know my
frenzied final days were
not in vain. I will be part
of the history of the world
and just might have changed
it for the better. Can you
see me, mother? I love you.

(2007)