To Sleep

I am perennially alone and I am
always in the wrong. No doubt
about it; this predicament is
my lot in life. I am always
an outsider. I'm the one
you're not certain you want
to tell others you know.
Who knows what I might say
next, what I might do, what
unthinkable act I might
perform for all to see?
I've been trying to get
right for decades and still
I am wrong, so far gone I
wouldn't know right if it
smacked me upside the head.
Where is right? Do I keep going
straight? Is it above? Is it
all around me, around us?
It can't be the latter,
despite what one would hope,
because I sure as hell can't
find it. Maybe right is not
what I should be looking for.
All I really want, at any
given moment, is a good night's
sleep. Never mind wrong or right.
To sleep. To wake each day and
greet a whole new world of
possibilities. Right be damned.
All I'm looking for is sound
sleep. Maybe the occasional
dream, but not even. Dreams bring
far too much heartache. To sleep
is all I ask. Don't humble wants
hold the best chances?

(2008)